weddings and services of union are hard on very young children (younger than 4), and we suggest that you not plan to include infants and toddlers as ring bearers or flower girls as a kindness to them.
musical pieces in the middle of the service take the focus off the couple and leave them standing for several minutes wondering what to do with their hands and often struggling not to break into a fit of giggles. We suggest that special music precede the processional or be postponed until the reception.
we ask that photographers and videographers remain stationary during the service following the processional, and that no flash be used during that time. We are happy to remain after the service for formal pictures and for posed pictures of the service itself.
asking friends or family to share a reading with the congregation is an effective way of honoring someone you care for. We are happy to arrange the service to include such readings. We do ask, though, that the reader be coached in enunciation, pacing, and projection if he or she is not used to public speaking.
providing such elements as wine to share, wine glasses to break, or unity candles is the responsibility of the couple, not of the ministers.
a wedding license must be obtained from the appropriate county or district office before the wedding. We prefer to see the license at the rehearsal, but certainly before the start of the service. It is illegal for us to perform a wedding without a valid license in hand. Licenses are usually obtained from the County Registrar of Marriages, the County Health Department, or the Clerk of the County Court, depending on the jurisdiction. Normally they must be paid for with cash and both parties must be present. Picture ID is usually required. In Maryland, final divorce papers or a death certificate must be shown in the case of a second marriage.
while no license is required for a service of union, we do strongly suggest that gay and lesbian couples secure the legal protections that marriage customarily entails. This can be done with the help of an attorney. The protections we suggest are, at minimum, the following: A Last Will and Testament (including a Living Will) for both parties; Durable Powers of Attorney both Health Care and for Financial Matters; and Medic Alert Cards specifying whom to contact in case of emergency.
In addition, we recommend that the couple sign a Spousal Contract. An example may be seen by clicking on this link.
paper aisle runners seldom behave properly, bunching up and curling when people walk on them. They are unsafe for the bridal party if high heels are worn, and they are unsafe at any time for elderly people whose footing may be uncertain. We strongly recommend against using them.
