A Musical Essay
Lighting of the Chalice: A few words from Ogden Nash on the subject of marriage
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up
Prelude: “At the Beginning,” from Anastasia, (Disney Co.)
Music by Stephen Flaherty, Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens
A Musical Essay: UNION: Love, Jealousy, Revenge, and the Whole Schmear
Love?
Love is easy.
Easy, like a waltz
Easy, like a baby’s kiss
Like a leaf on the wind
Like a breath.
Love is hard.
Hard, like a diamond,
Hard, like anthracite
Like iron chains,
Like prison bars,
Love is a thing of opposites,
Something between a butterfly and a knife.
Christine is a blossoming operatic soprano. Raoul is a wealthy patron of the arts. They are a young couple deeply in love. To them their love is a Garden of Eden, a paradise of refuge and innocent joy.
But like all Edens this one has a snake: Erik, a master musician, known to all as “The Phantom of the Opera,” A man disfigured in body and soul. A man bent by love,
Christine fears that Erik’s insane jealousy will doom them all, and in this she is entirely correct. But Raoul, oblivious to the danger, believing himself equal to any threat, dismisses her concerns and seeks to allay her worries with calming words…
[MUSIC] “All I ask of you,” (duet) from Phantom of the Opera
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Lyrics by Charles Hart and Richard Stilgoe
One of the most interesting things about Phantom of the Opera is the way it combines the principal forms of romantic union: love, jealousy and revenge. These emotions form the three points of a triangle, an area in which most of us have found ourselves located somewhere at some time in our lives—especially in the throes of young love.
Now, I must tell you that I am not a great fan of young love--I remember it too well, and not fondly. The roller coaster pitch through ecstasy and depression, the impossible vows, the foolish unnecessary hurts, the all too easy vulnerability, the deluded promise of flowing, silver life, of unencumbered summer.
No. Not again. Thank you.
[MUSIC] “Goodnight, Irene,” Music and Lyrics adapted by Huddie Ledbetter (“Lead Belly”)
I asked your mother for you, she told me that you were too young, I wished, dear Lord, I never seen your face, I'm sorry we both was born.
Irene, good night, Irene, good night. Good night, Irene, good night, Irene. I get you in my dreams.
Sometimes I lives in the country, sometimes I lives in town. Sometimes I have the great notion, to jump into the river and drown.
Irene, good night, Irene, good night. Good night, Irene, good night, Irene. I get you in my dreams.
Stop ramblin', and stop gamblin'. Quit stayin' out late at night. Go home unto your wife and family. Sit down, how 'bout a fireside bright?
Irene, good night, Irene, good night. Good night, Irene, good night, Irene. I get you in my dreams.
I love Irene, God knows I do. Love her 'til the sea run dry. If Irene turns her back on me, I'm gonna take morphine and die.
Irene, good night, Irene, good night. Good night, Irene, good night, Irene. I get you in my dreams.
Love comes and goes in so many different ways. Sometimes it comes by accident, sometimes by design. Sometimes it is cruelly taken from us. Sometimes…sometimes it just fades away.
Christine asks Raoul to “Turn her head with talk of summertime.” But summer and spring are easy. Real love must weather the fall and the winter too. It must be capable of surviving failure, disappointment and even betrayal. Occasionally, the failure to do so leads to dire consequences…
Two ambiguously named lovers in a working class neighborhood in old St. Louis, the kind of place where hard lessons are served up.
[MUSIC] Frankie and Johnny (Traditional)
Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts,
Oh, Lord, how they could love,
Swore to be true to each other,
True as the stars above,
He was her man
He wouldn't do her no wrong.
Frankie went down to the corner,
To get her a bucket of beer,
She said, "Oh, Mister Bartender,
Has my lovin’ Johnny been here?
He is my man,
He wouldn't do me no wrong."
I don't want to cause you no trouble,
Ain't gonna tell you no lies,
I saw your lover ‘bout an hour ago,
With a gal named Nellie Bly,
He is your man,
But he's doin’ you wrong.
Frankie looked over the transom,
And saw to her surprise,
There on a cot sat Johnny
Makin’ love to Nellie Bly,
He was her man, but he was doin’ her wrong!
Frankie drew back her kimono,
Took out a big forty-four,
Rooty-toot-toot three time she shoot
Right through that hotel door,
She shot her man,
‘Cause he was doin’ her wrong.
Bring out your rubber-tired hearses,
Bring out your rubber-tired hacks,
I'm takin’ my man to the graveyard
And I won’t be bringin’ him back,
Lord, he was my man, and he done me wrong.
Bring out a thousand policemen,
Bring 'em around today,
To lock me down in the dungeon cell
And throw that key away,
I shot my man,
‘Cause he was doin’ me wrong.
Frankie said to the warden,
"What are they gonna do?"
The warden, he said to Frankie,
"It's the electric chair for you,
'Cause you shot your man,
When he done you wrong."
This story has no moral,
This story has no end,
This story just goes to show that
There ain't no good in some men,
He was her man, but he done her wrong.
That, thank goodness, is one of the more extreme cases.
Usually love is less explosive, and, in most cases, becomes even less so as time goes by. Time is the great leveler of emotion. Everyday life both saps and renews the energy of love, which is not to say that time necessarily makes love easier.
Love is the blending of two hearts into one that is slightly misaligned.
Even when it works you sometimes wonder if it’s working. You fight, you make up. At times you find each other deeply satisfying, and other times wondrously irritating.
Sometimes you wonder if this was such a good idea. Most of the time you can’t imagine being apart.
You need to be together…don’t you?
[MUSIC] “Iris Blue (It Ain’t Been All Roses)”
Music and Lyrics by John Smith (“Johnsmith”)
Roses or not, I’d do it again in a New York minute!
[MUSIC] “Marry Me Again”
Music and Lyrics by Tom Paxton and Debi Smith
Marriage can be such a wonderful thing…
…Isn’t it a shame not everyone is allowed to do it?
Romantic union is an act of bravery. It seeks to be a permanent merger of two partners who together create a third, unseen partner--which is the union itself. All three must be nourished--often at inconvenient times--and all three must travel the same road—ideally forever.
This is a hard thing to remember, and at times even harder to do, and fatalities are not uncommon.
Romantic union is a journey to unknown places in the heart. It is a limitless partnership. It is an invitation to the awesome beauty of surprise.
And whatever hazards it encompasses, they are insignificant compared to the prize to be won. Someone once said that "love is two people in a conspiracy against the world."
But I will tell you a secret: it is more than that, it is a paradox. It is a contest that can be won only through surrender.
[MUSIC] “When I Fall In Love”
Music by Victor Young, Lyrics by Edward Heyman
The Giving and Receiving of the Offering
One of my favorite descriptions of romantic union is that it is something you share with someone who loves you despite what he or she knows about you. I think of the woman who, when told that her husband was a jerk, replied, “Yes, but he’s my jerk.”
Love is about adjustment and commitment. It is about discovering, and attaching yourself to the value of the person--or thing--you love.
I love this church. With all of its strengths—and its flaws—it is our church. We build it whenever we are together, and it remains part of us when we are not.
We build it with our most treasured resources, with our time, our effort, and our financial support. This is the moment for the latter, but before we do that, I want to let our visitors know that you need not feel obligated to contribute today. This morning you are our guests. If you return it will mean that you have found something of value here and then we will ask you to join us in contribution.