Have you ever asked yourself “why am I here?” That’s what I’m asking myself right now. How did I get myself into this situation, standing in front of a group of people, talking about “50 Things to Do Before You Die.”? Well I guess it’s part of being a UU: You casually mention to somebody “I have an idea for a Sunday service topic…” and the next person says, “Great! Why don’t you do that?” “And “what Sunday would you like to take, dear?” Which can either liberate and empower you to take the bull by the horns and go ahead and do it, or it can make you hesitant about mentioning ideas around other UUs.
And of course there is the fact that as you get older even seemingly simple, everyday events can lead into deep spiritual speculation. Almost every day, I find myself walking into a room and I have to ask myself “Why am I here? Where did I come from? Where am I going?”
About a year ago, I began to hear people mention the phrase “50 things to do before you die” in passing at various conferences and other people in the group would chuckle in a knowing way and I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. After this happened a couple of times, I became intrigued and began to hunt down the phrase to learn its origin and what it referred to. I started by asking acquaintances if they knew what the phrase referred to. Nobody knew what I was talking about and they looked at me kinda funny. As the logical next step, I “googled” the phrase “50 things to do before you die.”
Well, I can’t say my research turned up the true origin of the phrase. I did learn, however, that BBC TV did a show in 2003 on the “50 things” suggested by around 20,000 people in the U.K. I looked at the list and thought “Oh, this is interesting to see what people feel they need to do before they die. I wonder what I would put on my list?” Then I found that the MSNBC “Today” show did a similar show in 2005. I also found lists of 50 or more things to do before you die on blogs, with a lot of discussion, pro and con, about the items. Some of the lists on the Web are set up so you can vote for the individual items. Others are posted by individuals and have check-off boxes so they and everybody else in the world can see which of their items they have completed. At this point, all this was beginning to seem a little obsessive-compulsive and bizarre to me. I also found several books on Amazon.com with related titles, like “101 things to do before you die” (so I guess 50 is not a magic number); “10 fun things to do before you die (less ambitious and fun-oriented), and “101 things to do before you turn 40” (thinking ahead), and “Die Happy: 499 Things Every Guy's Gotta Do While He Still Can” (which I think we should open up to the gals, too).
It was at this point that I wrote down my own list. I wrote it down on a scrap of paper and have misplaced the paper (honest!, if you could see my house, you would understand why), but I will share some of them with you later. In the process of thinking this through I asked myself, “When I die, if I am of clear mind until the end and am able to review my life, what would I need to be satisfied and happy with the life I have lived? Will I have experienced the full range of human experience? (Would I want to experience the full range of human experience?) Have I plumbed the depths of human pain and misery and have I experienced the heights of joy and transcendent spirit, and have I been able to experience all of it fully? Have I loved as well as I could? Have I been the best “Mary Ellen Mogee” that I could? Will I be able to say “I played the best I could with the cards I was dealt.”?
Going through this thought process gave me additional insight into what these lists are about. It seems to me that they reveal our values, what is important to us, and what we think life is all about (Remember the old tune, “What’s it all about, Alfie?) At first I worried that “50 Things to Do Before You Die” was not really appropriate for a church service—that it was more like a parlor game or ------, where I would talk about the lists and then ask you all to write down some of your own items and share them with the group. Then I remembered something that I had heard in this church—that the word worship stems from worth-ship and that worship is a time when we share and celebrate that which has the highest worth, or value, to us. And I decided that the topic of “50 things to do before you die” really is appropriate for a worship service.
Now I will read you selected items from several different lists to give you a flavor of the kinds of things that people put in their lists of 50 things. After that I will give you all a few minutes to write down some of your own items and to share them, if you are willing.
From the BBC list, here are a few items (keep in mind that these are Brits):
1. Swim with dolphins
2. Scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef of Australia
3. Fly the Concorde to New York City
4. Go whale-watching
5. Dive with sharks
6. Sky diving
7. Walk the Inca Trail to Machu Pichu
8. Escape to a paradise island
9. Drive along Route 66, USA
10. Climb Mt. Everest
11. Gallop a horse along a beach
12. Ride a roller coaster
13. Go paragliding
14. Visit Las Vegas
Here are some items from the MSNBC list:
1. Watch whales migrate
2. Go white water rafting
3. See wild game on an African safir
4. Find a long-lost friend
5. Learn to dance
6. Fly a plane
7. Drive a NASCAR race car
8. Be serenaded by a Venetian gondolier
9. Paint the Big Apple red
10. Sip a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby
11. Conquer a fear
12. Ride a steamboat down the Mississippi
13. Write a song or poem for someone you love
14. Volunteer overseas
15. Visit a nudist colony
16. Run with the bulls in Pamplona
The list on VodkaPundit Weblog seems aimed at testing limits:
1. Slum through Europe
2. Have sex in public without getting caught
3. Have sex in public and get caught
4. Make a pass at a clergyman or woman
5. Sneak into a movie
6. Have a drink thrown into your face
7. Jump in a river, lake, or ocean fully dressed
8. Commit all 7 deadly sins in one afternoon
9. Drink a $400 bottle of wine
10. Get a tattoo in the Philippines
11. Go 50 over the speed limit
12. Sleep in until Tuesday, at least
Now for some closer to home. Linn Mitchell, a friend of UUCR, started a list of things she wanted to do when she retired. She could not be here today, but she graciously consented to let me read some items from her list. Her list had 64 items on it. She retired in 2000 and is still keeping her list. She keeps it on the refrigerator door and crosses out items she has done and blacks out those she no longer wants to do. A few of her items are:
1. Get a piano and take piano lessons
2. Make an animated movie
3. Clean the coupon drawer
4. Write letters faithfully
5. Cook gourmet meals
6. Read the great books
7. Visit specific friends
8. Be a docent at the Smithsonian
9. Walk 3 miles every day
10. Gardening
She reports that some things on her list have been accomplished and some have changed. She dropped crossword puzzles in favor of Sudoku and lost interest in cooking. She continues to add to her list.
Some of the items on my own list are:
1. Be able to be completely present in the moment
2. Find more joy in life
3. Simplify, simplify, simplify
4. Get my house cleaned up and organized
5. Travel
6. Learn to play a musical instrument and be able to play duets with my husband
7. Make more friends
8. Learn what my mission in life is and do it
I think you can see that some items are desired experiences, things to do that will give one a transcendent sense of life or high excitement—like swimming with sharks, running with the bulls in Pamplona, watching whales, or climbing mountans (Like they say, “different strokes for different folks!”). Some items are pure fantasy, others are tests of oneself--overcoming fears, a few reflect a desire to contribute to the world and make it a better place. People’s lists differ depending on where they are in their lives. Most older people won’t put bungee-jumping on their list (although some probably will!). Young people probably won’t focus on the endpoint of life, but may think of what they want to accomplish by the time they are 30 or 40. Children, I hope, will have the most ambitious and fantastic lists of all—I want to be a fireman on the Moon! …..
Now I invite you all to take a few minutes to reflect on “the 50 things *you* want to do before you die” (or some variant of the question, if thinking about death is too morbid for you) and jot down a few items. *You don’t have to write down 50 or even 10, and you don’t have to prioritize them, so these don’t need to be the *top* items on your list.* Then I will ask those who are willing to share some of their lists with us.
3 MINUTES FOR WRITING
Now, is there anybody willing to share one or two of their items? You may want to tell us your item and explain why it’s on your list. This can be quite personal, so please, let’s not comment on the appropriateness of each other’s items.
5 MINUTES FOR SHARING
I hope this has been a thought-provoking exercise. Some of you may want to make your own lists of “50 things to do before you die.” I would just like to warn you not to become too obsessive about them and not to worry about checking off each item. Recognize that your list will change over time as you change and as your situation changes. You may take some things off your list and add new items (replace crossword puzzles with Sudoku). Also, if you share an item with somebody else, maybe you can do it together! (A friend of mine has horse-back riding on her list and I would like to try that too.) Maybe this can be a tool to help articulate what is important to us and to keep some of our highest values and goals in front of us (put it on the refrigerator door!) and remind us to keep working on those things.