I call that mind free, which masters the senses, and which recognizes its own reality and greatness.

I call that mind free, which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, which opens itself to light whencesoever it may come, which receives new truth as an angel from heaven

I call that mind free, which is not passively framed by outward circumstance, which is not swept away by the torrent of events, which is not the creature of accidental impulse, but which bends events to its own improvement, and acts from an inward spring, from immutable principles which it has deliberately espoused.

There’s Room at the Table

Tom Day, Lay Minister

I have a good friend that I met at work about 10 years ago, and as good friends often do, we have many things in common. We’re about the same age, were brought up in similar environments, have many of the same interests and have spent endless hours of conversation on a thousand different topics.

Invariably, our conversation often turns to the topic of religion. She wasn’t extremely religious when we first met, but over the last several years she has deepened her beliefs in the Christian faith, while simultaneously I’ve become immersed in Unitarian Universalism. We’ve had many discussions about our respective faiths, and initially they were great conversations because each of us was able to share the history and details of our religions with the other.

But as the months passed, and we learned all we could from each other about our faiths, a tension began to grow between us as we each unconsciously began to do less sharing of our beliefs and more ‘selling’ of them. I jokingly told Dennis about this a couple of years ago, that we spent most of our time trying to convert the other, and he wisely told me that neither of us would ever be successful. Some of our conversations have ended in utter frustration for one or both of us, and she’s lately taken to telling me that she prays for my soul, so that I might find the error of my Unitarian Universalist ways. Only through the strength of our friendship am I able to stay engaged in dialogue with her.

The benefits of these discussions have been that I’ve been introduced to some excellent Christian writers, like C.S. Lewis. Through his works, I have deepened my understanding of not only the Christian faith but also what draws people to it. Although I have to confess that The Screwtape Letters is the only book that I’ve had to read three times just to understand, and even now I don’t think I’ve fully absorbed it.

So several months ago when she told me about a new book that she had read, I was anxious to read it, and ran out that night and bought a copy. It’s called “Dinner With a Perfect Stranger – an Invitation Worth Considering”, by David Gregory. If you haven’t heard of this book, the premise is rather interesting. It’s about a man, about my age, stressed out by demands of work and home, who receives an invitation in the mail to dinner, from none other than Jesus Christ. Of course at first he doesn’t believe it, thinks it’s a prank, but decides to go along for the ride just to get a free dinner. When she told me what it was about, I was immediately taken by the idea – because after all, how many of us would not jump at the chance to have dinner with Jesus? What kinds of questions would we ask? What would he know about us? And what would he order as an appetizer?

So I sat down to read the book, eager to read about the stories that Jesus told about his origins, his upbringing, and his experiences that have changed the lives of billions of people on the Earth, Christian or not. I was anxious to hear about how he would express his viewpoints in a modern context.

The first part of the book proved interesting enough, as Jesus described his existence, and did a fair job of tying together some loose ends and trying to answer some of the questions about Christianity that we often ask, like “do people that don’t accept Jesus go to hell, even if they don’t know about him?” or “How exactly does the trinity work, anyway?”. But about halfway through the book, it turned an unfortunate corner. It didn’t paint a picture of world religions similar to the one we all know - of the blind men and the elephant, all feeling different parts and forming different visions of the same elephant, or of a mountain that stretches up into a common heaven but has different sides to it that represent different belief systems.

Instead, it spent much of its focus specifically dissecting various world religions like Hinduism, Buddhism and others. It tried, in a very clumsy way, to find fault or illogic in all of these religions, to drive home the point that Christianity was really the one true religion, and that there were – quite simply – no other possibilities. There was just no room for discussion, and no openness to any other viewpoints.

I’m sure we’ve all read books like this, and we’ve certainly all had friends like mine who just can’t see that there can be more possibilities out there. People who don’t understand Unitarian Universalism, and that we don’t necessarily have to have all the answers. That we don’t have to know the ‘one truth’, if there even is one. People who don’t feel that sometimes a faith – and life in general, for that matter - can still be fulfilling even if we don’t know exactly why we’re here. I realize now that I was a bit naïve in my expectations for the book, but boy was I disappointed.

One thing I’m not naïve about, however, is that no matter what the topic of conversation, there will always be at least two, and often 20, opposing viewpoints. Pick up today’s newspaper, open any page and you’ll find a topic that is controversial. Gay rights. Abortion rights. Immigrant rights. Israel vs. Palestine. Christianity vs. Islam. Conservatives vs. liberal, even pro-Hillary vs. anti-Hillary – there really are two sides to every coin. And unfortunately there will always be people who seem hellbent on destroying anyone and everyone with an opposing viewpoint.

But here’s my question - has it always been this way? Have we always been this resistant to other people’s ideas and opinions? Or are we, as a nation or as a civilization, becoming less civil? Are we more polarizing now than ever before? 200 years ago, as the memories of the American Revolution were still thick in our minds, would the Dixie Chicks be banned from publicly playing their music for simply speaking their minds? This idea of freedom of speech sometimes seems so far removed from present day life.

But this is one of the things that distinguishes the people in this room, and draws us and more and more people every day to Unitarian Universalism. The idea that everyone should have the ability to speak their mind, and that there is more than one right answer. It’s embedded in several of our core principles:

- The inherent worth and dignity of every person.

- Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.

- A free and responsible search for truth and meaning.

We don’t just hang these principles on the wall, or put them up on a roadside pulpit. We live these principles every day. We convert these principles into action. We embody these principles in everything we do, inside or outside of these four walls. We know, that no matter how crowded it gets, no matter how heated the discussion, no matter how many people have an opinion, there’s always room at the table for one more.

As Unitarian Universalists, we love sitting at that table. We crave that table. There’s an old joke that goes “On my last flight the attendant gave us instructions on what to do if the plane developed engine trouble. We were told how to use the oxygen masks that would fall and also instructed on how to use our headsets. If the plane is about to crash you can dial up an appropriate message on the selector to your right. Catholics will hear a recording of the Hail Mary, Protestants will hear the 23rd Psalm, Jews can hear Kaddish, and the Unitarians will be treated to a roundtable discussion on flight safety." But the truth is, we live for the process of exchanging ideas, sharing lessons learned and life experiences, and helping each other expand our horizons just a little bit more each day. We take the definition of a “Welcoming Congregation” quite literally – we will reject no one for his or her background or beliefs, and our doors are always open to anyone, regardless of race, creed, or sexual orientation. If there’s no more room at our table, we’ll make a bigger table.

If you’re a lifelong UU, think about how much your mind has absorbed from the readings, sermons and conversations you’ve had with other UUs. And if you’re new to Unitarian Universalism, welcome aboard. Put on your seat belt, and prepare to enjoy a hell of a ride, no pun intended. If you’ve got an opinion on something, we want to hear it. You don’t have to worry about being made to feel like an idiot. You don’t have to worry about being shouted down, or ex-communicated from our church. From the early days of Unitarianism in old Europe, through modern troublemakers like William Ellery Channing and Theodore Parker, we have been a group that isn’t afraid to rock the boat, to speak our mind about what we believe is right, and to stand up when necessary. It’s what makes me proud to say I’m a Unitarian Universalist, and I know I’m not the only one in this room that feels that way.

I’m reminded of something that I’m sure many of you remember - the phenomenal speech 2 years ago at the Democratic National Convention by one of the most amazing people in politics today – Barack Obama. In his speech on a hot July evening in Boston, MA, in which he railed against the polarization and stereotyping that far too many politicians today practice, and the need that many feel to label people solely as ‘red-staters’ and ‘blue-staters’, he talked about how “we worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and yes, we’ve got some gay friends in the Red States”. It was an electrifying speech by a man with a fascinating story, and his point was clear – we are one people. And, while we each have our opinions, don’t judge us based on those opinions, or refuse to listen to our points of view because of who we are or what we believe.

But again, I’m preaching to the converted here. I don’t have to convince anyone here to maintain an open mind. That’s what brings each of you through that door every Sunday morning. We come here for civil discourse, to have healthy discussions on topics that are near and dear to our heart, that matter in our daily lives, and the lives of those around us. There’s always room at the table.

You have to ask yourself - what do people have to fear from open discussions? Why are some people deadset against even having a dialogue on particular topics? The recent uproar in the Christian community over a movie – The Da Vinci Code – would be comical if it weren’t so deadly serious. Theatres, cities and even entire countries are banning the film, with death threats and violence over the movie and book far too common. Much of this intolerance is no doubt rooted in fear – fear of the unknown, fear of finding out if centuries-old belief systems are invalid, fear that the world’s most predominant religion may not be as sacrosanct as they’ve been led to believe. We saw this fear front and center right after 9-11. Muslim mosques all over the country, including here in Northern Virginia, had to temporarily close down, or take extraordinary security precautions because people confused Islam with al-Qaeda, and were frightened that Muslims everywhere were going to rise up and destroy us all.

Of course we know that’s no more true than the possibility of the U.S. suddenly becoming dominant in World Cup soccer. But its irrationality is rooted in misunderstanding, and an unwillingness to hear what the other is really saying. If everyone were to open their hearts and minds to what others say and believe, we would all realize that the world isn’t so big after all. Maybe we are all blind men and women, standing before a giant elephant.

The music you’re hearing and singing today – with its diverse world influence - is an excellent example of how we all can come together to embrace the spirit of life that’s in all of us – we are truly one people, and that’s reflected in so many things that we do. Each of us may sing in a different pitch, or sing different words at times, but we do love the sound of the music we make when we all come together.

I think about the quilts on the wall behind me – these beautiful quilts were woven by members of our congregation with their bare hands, lovingly, painstakingly, one square and stitch at a time. They represent the four seasons, but every Sunday when I look up here, I see something different. I see hundreds of squares, with each square representing one of us, or one of our beliefs. How great it is that we can all come together, regardless of our backgrounds or beliefs, and form something so beautiful every week.

There’s a fantastic website called religioustolerance.org, and on their site they have a quote that says

“Study of the world's religions will lead to an understanding of religious diversity. Understanding will lead to inter-religious dialogue. Dialogue will lead to peace among religions. Peace among religions will lead to peace among nations."

I love that, and I love the idea that it embraces. Understanding will lead to dialogue, and dialogue will lead to peace. There’s always room at the table for dialogue.

At UUCR, we are experiencing the beginnings of what I believe will be a very exciting transition. Our church here has grown from a small group of friends 30 years ago to a congregation of almost 250 today that is composed of people with a variety of backgrounds, interests and levels of involvement. Over the years, we have shown the power of what this church can do – individually and collectively, with hundreds of examples of differences we’ve made in each others’ lives, in the local community, and in the larger world in which we all live.

But as Hank talked about last week, we’re not satisfied with standing still. We know there are many more people out there with our viewpoints or other viewpoints that want a seat at the table. We know there are people with a thirst for knowledge about our beliefs, and all other beliefs. It’s one of the reasons we’re expanding the physical size of our church here, starting in just a couple of months. We’ve outgrown our existing facilities, and need more room to welcome people into our folds. We need more room to stretch out and support multiple threads of conversation, or to learn more about the world around us. Quite simply, we need a bigger table.

As we work through this transition period, we will no doubt experience growing pains. There are those among us that think we are fine just as we are, and revel in the comfort that surrounds us each week, like an old soft blanket. For some, we’re the perfect size for a UU congregation, and they’d prefer to follow the old adage of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. It’s very comfortable coming in each week, seeing the same people, following the same format for the order of service, knowing what to expect. Sometimes we need to take refuge under this roof from a hectic world that pulls and tugs on us in a thousand different directions. Sometimes we need the predictability that can come with our Sunday services.

But for others, we’ve reached a point of stasis that isn’t comfortable any more. Some call it stagnating, some call it declining. They feel like we’ve reached our full potential, and have ceased becoming the exploring, vibrant body that we used to be, when we spent hours talking amongst ourselves about what we believed, what others believed and how we can all find a way to understand exactly why we are here in the larger sense.

A third opinion, as Hank expressed so eloquently last week, is that we’ve become disengaged as a church. While we have a strong central core of people that are extremely active in keeping the church a vibrant place, this core tends to be mostly the same people, year after year. They do a great job of providing, with Alison, a very strong Religious Education program for all ages. They work long hours to run our committees, expand our membership, increase our stewardship, and support each other as we each experience life’s ups and downs. But they can’t do it alone. This central core of people needs to continually increase, or at least refresh, so we don’t experience the kinds of burnout that many churches experience.

As lay ministers, we hear all these different views. People come to us, as they should, with their thoughts on what we are as a church, what we used to be, and what they think we should be. And we love hearing from you – listeners is one of the primary roles that we play – now and after our settled ministers return in August. Our job is to keep our fingers on the pulse of this church, and work with other leaders of this church to ensure that the UUCR ship successfully navigates through any rough waters we might experience. To find common ground among 230 very diverse opinions. As we say each week, this is our great covenant – to dwell together in peace, to seek truth in love and to help one another.

Even among the lay ministers, we have our differences of opinions. The first year we spent together learning from the ministers, learning from each other, and enjoying what I call the honeymoon of our lay ministry. Since we were invested in late January, we have found that this role can be very challenging, as we each have different thoughts and views on how we should respond to the thoughts and sentiments arising from the congregation. We meet at least once a month, recently more often than that, and we seek to find that middle ground that is so crucial to our continued success as a church. We know that we each have different viewpoints, but we respect that. As Thomas Jefferson once advised us, “I tolerate with the utmost latitude the right of others to differ from me in opinion.” Healthy disagreement is constructive, and doesn’t have to be destructive. As we work with other members of the church leadership to find this common ground, we want to hear from each of you. Let’s build on the Open Dialogue sessions, the leadership retreat and the Long Range Planning sessions that were held over the past year.

Last week’s Sunday Dialogue after Hank’s service drew about 50 people, and a very productive discussion was held about the topics that Hank raised. We’re hopeful that future Sunday Dialogues will provide additional outlets for people to share their thoughts on any number of topics. There’s room at the table.

As we seek to reconcile all of these different opinions, viewpoints and thoughts on what UUCR should be, don’t hesitate to get involved in these discussions. I’m confident that, while we won’t make everyone completely happy, we will be able to reach a compromise that will ensure that our church continues to grow and thrive. Help us convert all of these ideas to action. Pull up a chair and join the discussion. Open your hearts and minds and hear what others have to say, and in turn share your thoughts with all of us. Mohandas Gandhi said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”.

Whatever your viewpoint, there’s room at the table. Whatever your background, there’s room at the table. And for whatever you feel you need and can give back to this church in return, there’s room at the table.