Growing in Heart   (in note form)

The Wrens --stating the question
sympathy for wren parents
hulking and voracious child
innocent invader
why does raven say the wrens aren't helping the cowbirds?
Hold the question, we'll come back to it
 
The Wrens --Life out of balance
wrens face a problem familiar to most of us:
an external demand that takes all our time and energy
leaves us exhausted and demoralized
 
Our own experience of imbalance --the cards
Most difficult problem --budgeting time and resources, energy, among conflicting demands
Finding balance in a way-too-busy world and making spiritual pursuits a priority
The struggle to find out who I am, which manifests itself in conflicts over deciding how to distribute my time. There are so many things to do, but limited time and energy. Balancing family, work, my own needs, church, etc., is a challenge. Also, breaking old structures and habits that no longer reflect who I am finding myself to be is very hard.
Preparing for, and dealing with becoming a grandfather and its impact on my wife, son, daughter-in-law.
 
My recent experience
busy August, we started the church year tired
mostly craving time and opportunity to reflect
seconded by another church member - reflect
so it's a personal issue for me
 
How to live with voracious nestling --or a demanding idol
note the rabbi's understanding of Abraham's motivation: despair at a task too large
and the solution: love is stronger than fear or despair


the angel: Abraham's inclinations toward good
like the two wolves in my story
 
Need to grow in heart
what Jesus called "feeding my sheep"
quick to point out, Jesus did not say "feed my cowbird chick"
nor "feed my angel of destruction"
but the rabbi is careful to put the call to love in the context of danger, a woman shot in her neighborhood
she goes on to quote Etty Hillesum:
Times are hard, but that is no bad thing. If we start by taking ourselves seriously, the rest follows."
Trying to weave all these ideas together:
recovery of balance, feeding the sheep, taking ourselves seriously, growing in heart
let's try a reality check
 
Three incompatible choices, ala Samuelson
We Americans want the impossible. We want our health care system to provide everyone with good care covered by comprehensive insurance, prevent insurance companies or government bureaucrats from dictating our choice of doctors, hospitals or treatments, and hold down costs. Well, we can have any two of these goals -- but not all three. If everyone has coverage and choice, costs will skyrocket. No one is empowered to control them. But controlling costs involves limits on insurance or choice.
Not my intention to get into political argument, but to offer an analogy:
if we are feeling out of balance, it may be because we are trying to do something that can't be done
 
Juggling five balls
Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises from 1959-1994
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked,
damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.
Or maybe you didn't need to hear that, you already know it.
The how part is what's difficult
 
A Question to try --What business are you in?
Asked of churches --real estate, curators of museum, entertainment, managing endowment --I'll come to UUCR in a minute
Again, this is an analogy —
what is the business of your life? Another way of asking, what is your life about?
Transportation, shaping people, shaping product, bringing people and product together? Repairing the world, or people's bodies, or their souls?
In the business of complaining, or of saving face
Keeping secrets?
Keeping wolf from the door, or are you the wolf?
And are you happy about being in that business?
 
Opening to recover balance by reframing
May be helpful to step back and get a different perspective
railroads --transportation business
oil companies --energy business
churches --the business of caring for souls and the world --other activities then seen as contributions to that end of caring for souls
one reason for this sermon is to help UUCR reframe itself --
in danger of getting into the business of growing our membership
shift in emphasis --be the sort of people others want to go through life with
Take ourselves seriously
 
same principle ought to work for individuals, no?
Reframe our perception of our lives
a process to engage in
 
Need to stop doing what we have been doing
stop, step back, take a look around, move from being reactive to being reflective
 
Howard Thurman's suggestions
sit still and have a conversation with ourselves
jumble eventually gives way to letting thoughts come without judging them
then feelings begin to emerge that we have not acknowledged
let the feelings come without judging them
eventually move to a place where we can begin to identify our unique selves
Centering Down
 
may not be that easy --for some, years of therapy
may not need to go the whole way in one sitting
a few moments of insight may carry us for a considerable time
 
Importance of perception
how we see our situation rather than the situation itself
cowbird couldn't succeed if wrens weren't up to the job
we all have strengths and resources we haven't tapped
reservoirs of love and determination
get in touch with that inner power and live from it
that's growing in heart
 
And the problems we can't solve by stepping back?
Let go
Thurman says, turn ourselves and our troubles over to God
Thurman is not saying that God will make everything better
I think he is saying, trust the process
take ourselves and others seriously
like the Dag quote, "for all that will be, yes"
step out of the maelstrom
stop contributing to the erratic energy
continue with our lives, but don't be crazy
church consultant says: show up, listen, speak truth in love, let go of outcomes
 
Sisyphus - Stephen Mitchell
We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever.
The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon.
He doesn't realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.
Tragedy is the inertial force of the mind.
 
You can let go and know the peace of acceptance
or you can love your rock
that too is growing in heart
taking ourselves seriously as children of the universe
 
The Wrens --an answer
the wrens love their rock
what an unexpected prodigy
the child is huge, strong as a raven
as demanding as a harpy
and the parents, so proud, and so proud that they are able to sustain it
They discover strengths and resourcefulness they didn't know they had.
A child like that can make your heart swell